By Mary Lynn van Dijk With input from Amor, Irene, and Jane
Last 27 November 2022, after our usual Fourth Sunday Mass, we gathered in the Sint Antoniuszaal to partake of warm drinks and snacks before the socio-cultural event started. Just like in previous years, Father Marcel gave a workshop. This year, the workshop would be on Effective Communication because the Board members decided that we all need to know how to effectively communicate, particularly to avoid having conflicts with each other.
Father Marcel welcomed us and he talked about the importance of being able to communicate clearly. From his PowerPoint presentation, the first question was:
Why get training in (effective) communication? Because it helps us to improve our communication with others, and helps mitigate conflicts more efficiently, or helps to avoid having conflicts in the first place.
According to Father Marcel, there are three major means of communication, and these are verbal, that is communication with words; non-verbal, communication without using words, and includes using signs, cues, codes, visual communication, etc.; and written communication.
To improve our communication with others, we need to listen. We also have to try to be clear and concise. Sometimes it helps to write things down, and to be descriptive, and not interpretative. But most of all, before speaking up, we must think. Two ways to transfer information is by the direct or indirect way.
Whichever means of communication we may want to use, there are three critical components, namely: (1) Sending the Message, (2) Receiving the Message, and (3) the Medium through which the message is sent or received.
Also, we should always keep in mind when we are communicating that: 10% of conflicts is due to difference in opinion, but 90% due to delivery and tone of voice.
To put all these into practice, Father Marcel asked some people to come and sit back to back. One person was to give instructions to the other person to draw something on a piece of paper, while the first person themselves drew the same thing. When Father Marcel asked couples to do the exercise, Rainer Horn drew almost exactly the same picture as his wife, Susan, drew. Same with Lovella and Lennart van der Weiden. Couples, it seems, tend to effectively communicate with each other.
Then Father Marcel asked a few women to come in front and form a line. The first in the line was given a message to pass on to the next person who would pass on the message to the next person and so on until the last person received the message. When the exercise was over, the last person in the line was asked what the message was that the first person in the line conveyed. Almost always the message becomes distorted, which made it all very funny, making everybody in the room laugh. Irene, Rena, Marissa, Sheryll, Neneng, Arlyn and Margie participated in this message relay exercise.
This exercise proved that there was something very important that we should remember, and that is, meaning could be lost in the process of passing on messages.
Furthermore, for communication to be effective, if the message is not clear, the receiving person should seek clarification and ask. To find out if the message has been received, and received well, the one communicating should ask for feedback.
It was a very informative, fun workshop. Thank you, Father Marcel!
To summarize:
Communication is vital for all forms of relationships.
The more effective the communication, the better the understanding of the message.
Effective communication reduces chances of conflicts in relationships.
Listening, clarification and feedback are vital elements of effective communication.
Here are some photographs taken during the workshop.
Father Marcel explaining what Effective Communication is, with his PowerPoint presentation behind himSome workshop attendees keenly listening to Father Marcel’s talkThe FCC Gouda and FCC Dordrecht ladies lining up for Father Marcel’s exercise in relaying a message
The day started out early with the early birds meeting up at Reeuwijk from 10AM to secure the spot, set up the tent and place the FCC-Gouda banner to mark the meeting point within the beautiful surroundings of Reeuwijkse Houtwal.
The day was filled with a variety of activities, including games for both the children and the adults, the most awaited tombola (raffle draw), dancing, singing, salo-salo (community eating), and relaxing or what the men called ‘getting rid of headaches’.
Thanks to the enthusiastic and very cooperative participants of the family fun day picnic, all the prepared games came to life and brought laughters to the gathering. The first of the seven games was pinata, which was prepared by Myra Colis for the children (and interested adults).
It was after the game that the weather started to tease the participants with raindrops that lasted until all the ground is wet and everyone’s picnic mat is rolled back as if it’s time to go. Despite the wet weather, some continued the singing and dancing under the rain, while the others chat under the protection of the white wide tent that housed all the food and drinks.
After half an hour of rain, the sun finally came back out and filled the rest of the day with warmth and merriment that lasted till 6PM. At around 3.30PM, the three winners of the tombola were drawn by Father Marcel with the help of the children present during the family fun day picnic. The three lucky winners are as follows:
Owners of the winning numbers, please come and claim your prize.
1st prize- 100 euros: Ticket # 0520
2nd prize- 75 euros: Ticket # 0236
3rd prize- 50 euros: Ticket # 0099
The rest of the games were enjoyed by the adults, especially the bottle bowling and 3-legged game prepared by Amor van Os, the straw game prepared by Margie Zwanenberg, ‘wearing clothes without hands’ game prepared by Joylyn, and the cup game prepared by Father Marcel. All the winners received loads of fun as their prize.
Overall, it was a successful gathering. Based on the feedback of the members of the community who were able to attend the gathering, the mission of having fun as a big family was accomplished.
Coming together as one, sharing good company and food, staying and sticking together when the rain fell down and enjoying and rejoicing when the sun came out. What more can you ask for? Last Saturday’s FCCG Funday Picnic is an epitome of what FAMILY is all about.
Susan Horn
We had and nice day and lot of foods and good company God bless you all! PS. Thnx for the pictures. Also from “flipper “ Ronald.
~ Tess van As
It was very succesful event and everyboday have fun, it’s nice to see children having a great time and participating games. Everybody felt happy en welcome. Let’s do it again next yr.
~ Mary Jane Osigan
Het was super duper leuk en gezellig. Iedereen was samenwerking jong en oud. De kinderen hebben genoten. Het was echt leuk. Bedankt voor iedereen.
~ Marietta Boswinkel
It was super gezellig …and felt the warmth of everyone during the event.
~ Anonymous
Het was leuk en gezellig iedereen naar zijn zin, volgende jaar weer.
~ Anonymous
MESSAGE FROM THE FCC-GOUDA BOARD On behalf of the FCC Board, thank you very much to our volunteers. Your help & generosity is priceless. Thank you for your continuous support, rain or shine, present or not. We all love you . God bless our community🙏
I was one of the 13 participants of Father Marcel ‘s Leadership training last April 30, 2022 at Gouda.
He immediately mentioned that a Leader’s actions or role does not necessarily comes from official authority unlike that of a manager, the latter’s role comes from the official authority given to him/her by the organization’s big bosses.
A leader is not necessarily a salary based role while a manager is. A leader is an influencer, motivator, mentor , inspires , empowers the team, guides and directs everyone to a common goal. A manager follows the set of responsibilities given to him/her and will want the team to accomplished a task within the set of guidelines and deadlines established by the organization.
Further, a good leader is giving the time and effort because he/she is committed to the team. Someone who is passionate and charismatic in dealing with people.
With that said, I had a flashback when I was in high school and college days. I remember I was always chosen to be the leader perhaps because no one wanted to take the responsibility or maybe they saw that I can lead. But now I realized, I was not a good leader because when we were tasked for example, in our science subject, to bring materials for an activity, I would assigned my team what he or she will bring but I will bring every materials needed without my team’s knowledge. I was just afraid , they will not bring any material and we will get low grades!!! I took all the responsibility. There was no ‘WE’ but only ‘I’. It was indeed a good realization .
Father Marcel also made us open our minds and hearts that Leadership in Church is not easy. Take an example of Jesus, He emphasized the importance of being discerning with regard to others without seeking to control them. He was not only a servant-leader ( John 13:1-7) but also a good shepherd ( John 10:14) . He was also a steward as mentioned in Luke 22:27.
Another example of a good leader was Nelson Mandela , a former President of South-Africa, who showed heroism through his selfless and dedicated acts, by fighting to bring liberty and justice for all his people and risking his life for the equality of all.
Besides the fruitful discussions we had , we participated also on a self -reflection activities based on the questionnaires about Behaviour as a leader, Exercise on Personal Effectiveness for Leaders and Analysis of behaviour in the Leadership Team and Group Dynamics.
Father Marcel ended the training with a quote by Simon Sinek , “ The role of a leader is not to come up with all the great ideas but to create an environment in which great ideas can happen.”
Participants were Norie Dalisay, Marissa van der Graaf, Nova Villaver, Elpi Gutierrez, Teunis Blanken, Hans Oostenwijk, Jenny Luna, Tessa van As, Ronald Kaesteun , Joylyn Subtenente, Rosavilla Hoogendoorn, Gene Boon , Luz van de Starre, Maria Lovella vd Weiden and the speaker Father Marcel Uzoigwe, CSSp.
We zijn erg dankbaar voor deze educatieve en informatieve training. De boodschap was duidelijk, een goede leider kan leren tijdens het proces. Dank u pater Marcel voor de wijsheid, ervaring en presentatie. We hebben veel geleerd en hopen dat we het kunnen toepassen tijdens ons vrijwilligerswerk in de kerk voor de verbetering van het team, de organisatie & de gemeenschap. We hopen ook op een vervolgsessie van de training voor dit jaar. God zegen ons!
Saturday, March 26,2022 the Filipino Community of Gouda organized a Holy Retreat event. It was a well attended event and participants were able to have a reflection , meditation about themselves.
The day started with Fr. Callistus Offor with a bible phrase “DO NOT BE AFRAID FOR I AM WITH YOU” Isaiah 41:10 . Followed by questions:
What is a retreat? Why am I here? Why did I decide to come?
Among the numerous reasons to attend the retreat are.
We need rest, we need time to express or share our feelings, we need some moment to reflect. Moments to look at ourselves if we have grown. Need to be open to changing our life and need prayer.
The main topic of the event was about “FEAR”
What is Fear? and How do we deal with fear in our daily lives?
Fear, something can do a lot of damage in our daily lives. Something we are afraid of. Has a lot of negative impacts: Social life, Physical life, Personal life, Spiritual life. It steals our time , values, status and can destroy peace of mind, happiness, health and sanity.
Everyone was given a chance to share what kind of fear they have encountered in life. Participants were divided into 3 groups and each group was able to share and discuss it. And it comes with a discussion that mostly has a fear of being alone in life, the fear of aiming high because of lack of confidence, lack of focus, fear of being rejected, fear of being neglected, fear of what will happen if time will come of dying and so on.
Fr. Callistus discussed the “Strategies of Fear”
A short story was shared and came out with a conclusion that If you feel you are a victim don’t be afraid stand up and fight back know what you are capable of. Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of.
Each of us must confront our own fears, and must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it. Develop self permission, don’t put yourself down. There is power in prayer, there is power in the words of God.
Use your time, use your talent and that you can live your own life.
The day ended that everyone feel inspired ,happy and feel blessed.
The Parable of the Fruit -bearing tree: What does it mean to be a fruitful Christian?
When Jesus mentioned of this Parable in Luke 6: 39-45 . He was telling us that God sees the heart . We may put on a great show of words and actions but it is what is in our heart that is so visible to God. Jesus asked us why do we observe the splinter in our brother’s/sister’s eye and never notice the plank in our own? Jesus said, “ Hypocrite! Take the plank out of your yes first and then you will see clearly enough to take out the splinter that is in your brother’s/ sister’s eye “.
In these modern world, we try to focus on the faults of others , no matter how true, to take the focus off our own.
Then Jesus proceeded to mention that “there is no sound tree that produces rotten fruit, nor a rotten tree that produces sound fruit. For every tree can be told by its own fruit. Figs are not taken from thorns, nor gather grapes from brambles. A good man produces goodness from the good of his heart ; an evil man produces evil out of his store of evil. Each man’s words flow out what fills his heart. “
Father Emmanuel made us realized that a fruitful Christian means that there must be genuine love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness in our hearts that reflects our actions to others. But only when we first acknowledge our own faults and be a better person then our actions will bear good outcome for our children, family ,friends and to the community.
He even reminded us of the on-going conflict between Russia and Ukraine . This is the time to be a fruitful Christian, to bear good fruits of good deeds and including them in our prayers for the conflict to end.
After the Mass, our Priest requested couples to come forward. He blessed and prayed for their successful Marriage and Family life. Father Cyril also requested the single ladies whose partners are no longer with us and the ladies who are still looking for a lifetime partner.
The happy, blessed couples of the FCC-Gouda Community
On December 26, 2021, the Filipino Catholic Community in Gouda (FCC-Gouda) and Surroundings held its Tombola fundraising event after the mass. Thanks to the sponsors who donated prizes and the community members and supporters who bought raffle tickets, the community has all together raised a total of €496 (net).
The FCC-Gouda Board would like to thank the following for your generosity, kindness and support. May God bless you all the more!
SPONSORS:
Ribex International Martin and Mary-Jane Streefland Amor Lagade Irene Hameete Marylynn van Dijk Jenny Luna Elpi Aziatische Kledingreparatie.
TOMBOLA COORDINATOR:
Irene Hameete
BEST TOMBOLA SELLER OF THIS YEAR:
Marivic Adema
And to EVERYONE who supported and bought raffle tickets, our HEARTFELT THANK YOU! With each donation we receive, we deeply appreciate your support.
THE LUCKY WINNERS
First Prize: Lucy & Kees van Ginkel 2nd Prize : Lucy & Kees van Ginkel 3rd Prize: Luz van Starre Consolation Prizes: Jojo van Oeveren Tony Farma Teun Blanken Michelle Streefland
Once again, thank you ALL for making a difference through your help and generosity!
