On May 28, 2023, the FCC Gouda & Surroundings community came together to celebrate its remarkable 25-year journey. This significant milestone not only marked the passage of time but also highlighted the unwavering commitment, unity, and faith that have shaped this community into a thriving force. Attendees reflected on their experiences, expressing gratitude for the collective effort, the guidance of Father Marcel Uzoigwe, and the sense of belonging that has made FCC Gouda a second home.
Working Together Towards Success: Arnold Paco, a devoted member of FCC Gouda & Surroundings, recognized the harmonious collaboration within the community. He emphasized the dedication of every individual to their roles, resulting in a well-organized and efficient group. Arnold encouraged everyone to continue relying on the guiding star of the Holy Spirit, emphasizing that with faith as their compass, nothing is impossible.
A Family That Provides Support: Lita Henke, reflecting on her cherished memories, expressed immense joy at being part of the FCC Gouda community. Over the past 25 years, she and her late husband found solace and comfort in attending the Filipino mass. Lita felt at home from the moment they were warmly welcomed by the group. Despite the challenges of going to Gouda alone after her husband’s passing, she found solace in the supportive nature of the community. Lita’s continued participation is a testament to the family-like atmosphere and the unwavering support offered by FCC Gouda.
Fine & Fun, that’s how it went: Fr. Cyril summed up his experience in a concise yet powerful statement: “It was fine and it was fun.” His words captured the positive energy and enjoyment felt throughout the celebration, both during the Mass and the subsequent festivities.
A Reverend’s Perspective: Fr. Mark Robin Hoogland acknowledged the exceptional atmosphere that permeated the Mass and continued long after. The sense of unity and joy was palpable, creating a sacred space for celebration and worship.
Succesvol, Sfeervol, en Gezellig: Marrietta Boswinkel eloquently summarized the event in Dutch, expressing that it was highly successful, filled with ambiance, and a joyous affair. Her words echoed the sentiments of many who attended the anniversary celebration.
Congratulations and Support from FCC Dordrecht: Representing FCC Dordrecht, Marissa van der Graaf extended heartfelt congratulations to FCC Gouda & Surroundings on their 25th anniversary. She commended the community’s collective efforts, acknowledging the board members and all community members for their dedication to the Catholic community. Marissa highlighted the unity displayed by the husbands, who selflessly worked in the kitchen during the event, showcasing their love and support. She expressed the desire for continued collaboration and eagerly anticipated participating in FCC Gouda’s 30th anniversary celebration.
The Importance of Leaders and Followers: Maria Lovell van der Weiden recognized the vital roles played by both leaders and followers within the FCC Gouda community. She emphasized the need for unity and appreciation of every individual’s contributions. Maria applauded the supporters who often work behind the scenes, as well as the leaders who guide and steer the community’s direction. Through this balanced collaboration, she was confident in the community’s ability to thrive in the years to come.
A Home Away from Home: Kristine Baul expressed her gratitude for FCCG, likening it to a home away from home. She praised the community for its warm and welcoming nature, emphasizing the joyful celebration of their 25th anniversary. Kristine highlighted the cultural significance of Filipino songs and dances, which evoked nostalgia and pride. She acknowledged the importance of belonging to FCCG in strengthening her faith and thanked her FCCG family for their support.
Embracing Challenges and Sharing Talents: Amor van Os, reflecting on the journey of FCC Gouda, emphasized the trials faced along the way. However, she emphasized the presence of God as a constant companion, guiding the community through obstacles. Amor recalled the leadership challenges in 2012 and recognized the courage of Jan Boon, who took charge during that critical time. She encouraged every member to recognize their unique gifts and talents, urging them to share them with the community for collective growth.
To sum up, the 25th anniversary celebration of FCC Gouda & Surroundings was a testament to the unwavering unity, support, and faith that have defined this community. Attendees reflected on their experiences, expressing gratitude for the collaborative efforts of all members, the guidance of Father Marcel Uzoigwe, and the sense of belonging that binds them together. As they looked forward to the future, the attendees were confident that FCC Gouda would continue to flourish, embracing challenges, and remaining a vibrant beacon of faith for many more years to come.
I was one of the 13 participants of Father Marcel ‘s Leadership training last April 30, 2022 at Gouda.
He immediately mentioned that a Leader’s actions or role does not necessarily comes from official authority unlike that of a manager, the latter’s role comes from the official authority given to him/her by the organization’s big bosses.
A leader is not necessarily a salary based role while a manager is. A leader is an influencer, motivator, mentor , inspires , empowers the team, guides and directs everyone to a common goal. A manager follows the set of responsibilities given to him/her and will want the team to accomplished a task within the set of guidelines and deadlines established by the organization.
Further, a good leader is giving the time and effort because he/she is committed to the team. Someone who is passionate and charismatic in dealing with people.
With that said, I had a flashback when I was in high school and college days. I remember I was always chosen to be the leader perhaps because no one wanted to take the responsibility or maybe they saw that I can lead. But now I realized, I was not a good leader because when we were tasked for example, in our science subject, to bring materials for an activity, I would assigned my team what he or she will bring but I will bring every materials needed without my team’s knowledge. I was just afraid , they will not bring any material and we will get low grades!!! I took all the responsibility. There was no ‘WE’ but only ‘I’. It was indeed a good realization .
Father Marcel also made us open our minds and hearts that Leadership in Church is not easy. Take an example of Jesus, He emphasized the importance of being discerning with regard to others without seeking to control them. He was not only a servant-leader ( John 13:1-7) but also a good shepherd ( John 10:14) . He was also a steward as mentioned in Luke 22:27.
Another example of a good leader was Nelson Mandela , a former President of South-Africa, who showed heroism through his selfless and dedicated acts, by fighting to bring liberty and justice for all his people and risking his life for the equality of all.
Besides the fruitful discussions we had , we participated also on a self -reflection activities based on the questionnaires about Behaviour as a leader, Exercise on Personal Effectiveness for Leaders and Analysis of behaviour in the Leadership Team and Group Dynamics.
Father Marcel ended the training with a quote by Simon Sinek , “ The role of a leader is not to come up with all the great ideas but to create an environment in which great ideas can happen.”
Participants were Norie Dalisay, Marissa van der Graaf, Nova Villaver, Elpi Gutierrez, Teunis Blanken, Hans Oostenwijk, Jenny Luna, Tessa van As, Ronald Kaesteun , Joylyn Subtenente, Rosavilla Hoogendoorn, Gene Boon , Luz van de Starre, Maria Lovella vd Weiden and the speaker Father Marcel Uzoigwe, CSSp.
We zijn erg dankbaar voor deze educatieve en informatieve training. De boodschap was duidelijk, een goede leider kan leren tijdens het proces. Dank u pater Marcel voor de wijsheid, ervaring en presentatie. We hebben veel geleerd en hopen dat we het kunnen toepassen tijdens ons vrijwilligerswerk in de kerk voor de verbetering van het team, de organisatie & de gemeenschap. We hopen ook op een vervolgsessie van de training voor dit jaar. God zegen ons!
I have no other explanation to offer as to why am still here; except, that I’m surviving cancer by God’s grace. In 2015, I was diagnosed with a rare and particularly aggressive type of cancer called Epithelioid Angiosarcoma. The initial biopsy came from a bump that was sitting on my leg for approximately eight years when I first noticed it. It took three months to diagnose because none of the pathology databases in the Philippines carried the profile for this type of cancer. In fact, the largest case study we’ve found so far had 18 cases, with a handful more individual cases here and there.
I read in a medical journal that 56% of the patients with my type of cancer die in three years. I’m on my fourth year. Thank, God. My doctors like to tell me that I’ve gone through some of the toughest chemo regimens they can give for my kind of cancer. Most people stop after a few rounds. I can tell you that strength and determination sometimes aren’t enough when you feel beaten up and can’t even muster the courage to get off the couch for weeks. All you can say is, “Lord, I offer you my pain”. There’s faith that one day, things will get better.
I am not stronger or more resolved than the other patients I know. A good friend taught me a phrase that has helped me through all this: “Not I can, but He can.” By His grace, I survived a total of sixteen rounds of chemo in my life—eight in Manila and eight here.
We often ask, “Why me?” I’ve asked myself that question countless times in the last four years, and there has never been an answer. So I started asking myself “What is the purpose of my existence at this point?” I realized that, because my children are small, and we’re new immigrants, the purpose at this time is to build a community around them. Friends who can be like family (like all of you who have lent us much needed strength in these trying times). All of you have been part and parcel of this gift.
When I figured out my current purpose, I realized that every single event in my life has led me exactly to this point. Every experience and encounter has prepared me for this. If that is so, then there must be a plan. If He has a plan for me, then there must be a reason why I am here and why I’m going through this.
There must be a reason why you are here, too. Finding your purpose might answer the question as to why things happen, though some of what we understand as our purposes do change over time. I’m still trying to fully understand my new purpose.
So what have I learned fighting this cancer twice in four years?
Cancer, such as it is, taught me that there is beauty in knowing that life is fragile and finite. Confronting death gave me a sense of clarity. It has helped me understand what are really important in the end—faith, family, and friends. Everything else melts away. Little things stopped stressing me out because they become inconsequential. Prayers become deeper and more meaningful. In the course of fighting cancer, I did get better at some point. I was in remission for a year and a half before it returned. We thought we were done, so I’ll also be the first to tell you that it’s easy to lose your focus once death becomes less imminent.
The other thing I’ve learned is that good news and bad news are all in your head. All that the doctors give you is information. You decide how you want to frame the information you receive. More relevant information helps you make better decisions. I read everything I could about my kind of cancer, and researched like crazy before making a decision. Prior to receiving my diagnosis, I had already decided I was going to be open with my loved ones regarding my fight against cancer, and I was going to be the most positive person I ever knew. If all I could do was beat the drum in this battle we were all fighting, I wanted to make sure it was to the tune of hope and courage, instead of fear and despair. When the doctors finally told me it was Epithelioid Angiosarcoma, I said, “Thank you, at least now we know what it is and we can do something about it.” When the doctors told me that, “There is no protocol for curative intent” which is a fancy way of telling me that there’s no cure for my kind of cancer, I told them I was going to be their miracle case, and that we would fight this fight at the right time and in the right way. You can be positive and still be realistic.
You know, my father always said it takes the same effort to dream big as it does to dream small, so you might as well dream big. In the same sense, it takes exactly the same effort to find something to complain about or to count your blessings, to cry or to laugh. Choosing to discover your blessings is a conscious decision that becomes a habit and then a reality. Once you find the first few little miracles, the others become easier to see.
When I first met the doctors here (in The Netherlands), they wouldn’t even talk to me about surgery or possible amputation. They didn’t know how fast it was going to go this time around. On my first appointment, I had a bump, smaller than a pea, on the seam of my scar. A couple of weeks later, there were five on my lower leg. A CT scan of my thigh revealed three more, making a total of at least eight tumors. They told me that if it showed up in my lungs, it would be pointless to amputate. The additional tumors in my thigh sent me straight to chemo even if we had prepared for radiation. My oncologist said that, among my fairly limited set of options, was to do chemo under a palliative setting until I couldn’t do chemo anymore due to neuropathy.
Neuropathy sucks. At some point, it becomes permanent and you can’t button your buttons anymore, or walk.
We prepared the kids for my possible death. We read them stories about how love lives on even if we can’t see our loved ones. We cried a lot and we prayed a lot, too. The prayer that Jesus said at Gethsemane resonated with me. Mark 14:36— “Abba” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” Not my will but Yours be done.
If you can’t fight it, at least, pray for courage, right?
At a retreat organized by the FCC Gouda in March 2019, Father Marcel said something beautiful. He said, “God is your Father, ask Him to grant you what you really want. Talk to Him like you would your own father.” And I was filled with so much hope. Our prayers changed to “Dear Lord, we pray for complete healing, for the gift of life. Please grant us the grace and courage to follow Your Will (and this is the important part) WHATEVER IT MAY BE.” I didn’t want the kids to be angry with God just in case I died. I believe that God sends us people to help us with His miracles. Having a community to turn to is like having a reservoir of courage, inspiration and strength. We couldn’t have gotten this far without the help of those who have been sent our way. With my husband John, and my kids, I found reason to live. I couldn’t have done it without them. With family and friends cheering me on, I found courage and inspiration. My doctors and nurses are helping me find a path to healing—they’re instruments of God, too. With Him, I found purpose, hope, and life. Every time I’d lose courage, I’d listen for God’s messages for me in the mass. Every single time, He delivered much needed courage through the readings, the Gospel, the homily, and sometimes, even in the songs sung at mass.
In fight two, round six, they told us that chemo seemed to arrest my cancer, that no tumors have been found beyond my leg making an amputation possible. Thank, God. When I told my family, a dear aunt asked me to reconsider the amputation and just pray. She said it was going to be hard to walk with just one leg. In jest, I told her it would be harder to walk if I’m dead. Little did they know that my greatest fear was the doctor telling me that an amputation was no longer possible—this might mean that I would be waiting to die. It’s better to be one-legged than dead.
When I prayed to God to grant me the gift of life, I did so without conditions. I am a sinner, so between us, there were neither bargains nor promises I might not be able to keep.
I grew up with a Benedictine education, with the motto: Ora et Labora (prayer and work). Chemo and the ensuing amputation were the work required for the miracle we prayed for. In exchange for my leg, I get to live a little longer—isn’t that great?
A lot of us pray, hoping for a miracle served on a silver platter, and I’m not sure if it works that way. In Filipino, we have a saying, “Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa (mercy rests with the Lord, but we still need to do our share to make it happen).”
He and I are a team: He takes care of the big stuff, I take care of the small stuff.
To help prepare ourselves and our children for the amputation, my husband and I looked for funny or inspiring amputee stories. We listed the things we looked forward to once I recovered. We did this in the weeks before I even checked into the hospital. It was vastly easier to prepare them for the upcoming surgery than it was trying to prepare them for my potential death.
Allowing myself to laugh at our situation allowed other people to have fun, too. They amputated my leg on the 18th of October (2019). Crazy as it may seem, I was the happiest person on my floor. It took some work, but most of the time, our nurses were laughing with us—at the very least, most were smiling. When they rolled me into the operating complex, all of my doctors were grinning from ear to ear. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the home-baked apple pies I insisted on bringing, or the fact that I was cracking amputation-related jokes in the pre-operative room.They all laughed when I said their procedure was definitely the quickest, guaranteed weight-loss program I’ve ever come across.
Two weeks after the operation, the pathology report was released. All the cancerous tumors from the resection on my thigh were “dead,” and so were most of most of the tumors on my lower leg. Whatever lesions survived chemotherapy was gone thanks to the amputation. My doctor told us that there was a high possibility that we finally beat cancer. It’s incredible. God has delivered in the most amazing way.
What words do we usually associate with miracles? Joy, light and peace. I wanted that for all of us because I believe that joy promotes healing. Joy turned what was potentially the scariest event in my life into such an amazing experience. It also sets us on the right foot towards this next chapter of our journey, (pun intended), with a smile on our faces, and peace in our hearts.
It’s October, and I’m going to end with a short story about my dad. He passed away from colon cancer in January 2018. The doctors told us he had about two months left. He loved my mom so much that he wanted her to know he tried everything he could to live. So we took the next plane to Singapore, to see if there were options there.
We were greeted by a devoutly Catholic Chinese-Singaporean, Uber driver who, as it happened, was also the official transporter of Our Lady of Fatima in Singapore. He told my dad that he (my dad) was lucky. Our lady had sat exactly where he was sitting. Timothy, our driver, took us to our hotel so we could rest for the night, and for the first time ever, I heard my dad praying the rosary. You know that he didn’t pray the rosary often because he would say, “Joyful mystery number one” continue with the Our Father, ten Hail Marys, and a Glory Be. He would then continue with, “Joyful mystery number two” and so on. My mom asked him if he knew what the actual mysteries were, and he replied: “No, but I’m sure God knows.”
The next day, at 5 AM, he asked Timothy if he could bring us to see Our Lady of Fatima. You know how Filipinos love wiping the image with their handkerchiefs? Well, beside Our Lady was a sign “Please do not touch Our Lady, She will touch you.” There, he received a scapular which he never took off. My father was so moved that he became a devotee to Our Lady of Fatima.
Eventually, the doctor recommended chemotherapy. The doctor pulled me aside to explain that while things looked dire, hope was important and that I shouldn’t let my father know that he was on a reduced amount. We went home and continued the protocol there. Chemo did a good job of controlling his cancer, but it didn’t give him the quality of life he wanted. We stopped after three rounds.
In the months between that fateful September day and his passing, Papa learned the mysteries of the rosary, and he learned to surrender to the Lord. He spent the rest of the time preparing us for the inevitable. He told us everything we needed to hear from him, and we were able to tell him everything we needed to say. It was from him that I learned that there is also grace in acceptance. He was so comfortable with his situation, he was even making bets with the nurses about when he was going to die. He said Saturday, 6 PM.
When we brought him to the hospital for the last time, he was delirious, and in between directing his “photoshoots” and asking us to order food for his guests, he’d pray the Hail Mary (or at least part of it). My dad passed away a few days later, on the sixth of January—if you’re looking for bonus points as a Catholic for date of death, he got them all. It was the Feast Day of the Epiphany, the last day of Christmas, on the first Saturday of the year. Some Marian devotees believe that Mama Mary brings to heaven those who die on the first Saturday of the month. He won that bet, too. He left at 5:56 PM.
That’s our story. We hope that you, too, can fight your fear with faith and remain unbroken.
